Haircut and ready to go

Every trip deserves a haircut. It was so nice to see Carlos and catch up. What a nice day out in LA. Beautiful breakfast followed by a haircut and then another great tennis match with Antonio. I feel great that I was able to setup very healthy activities here in LA. The plus side of having gout this past month and being vegetarian is that I have lost 10-15 pounds since Thanksgiving and my body is responding very well to eating healthy and exercise.

Today I heard from several tennis players from Australia. One of the players is picking me up at my hotel and driving me out to the tennis center. What kind people they are already.

I also had a chance to I get to see some very important people in my life this evening and feel the warmth of recovery. The folks out here played such an important role in my life back in 2018. I spent months out here redefining myself. After losing John I found it easier to spend time away from my home to try to establish who I was as a single gay man. Surprisingly, I have never experienced being a single gay man until after John died. I had met John prior to me coming out. I knew I was gay, and had been sleeping with guys (and a few women) for years, but I had never come out. Nothing like being head of heals in love to force you out of the closet.

So here I was at 48 years old, a widow, someone who had spent the last 24 years being partnered, and clueless on how to navigate the world as a single man, and a single gay man.

Moving out to LA allowed me to just be me, not me and John, or me without John. It was liberating and scary. The people I met out in West Hollywood (WeHo) accepted me as me, and helped me find myself.

There were many bumps in the road, but I finally feel that I have started to really enjoy the person I have become on the other side of that massive shitpile of grief. I’m adventuresome, playful, obnoxious, a fierce competitor, quick witted, optimistic and kind. I am also stubborn, self seeking, intense, and set in my ways.

Let’s see what not working for several months does to me.

At this time tomorrow I will be boarding my 16.5 hour flight. It’s a long journey for sure!!